What is Dating Violence?

Dating violence is abuse within a dating relationship. The abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Dating violence can happen on the first date or after three years of dating. Some common acts of dating violence are:
-Pushing, shoving, hitting and kicking.
-Sexual blackmail, demands for sex, and rape.
-Insults and putdowns.
-Controlling who she sees, where she goes, and what she wears.

Even one act of violence is unacceptable. Usually it is a warning sign of future violence, and it should be taken seriously.

How Often Does It Happen?

By the age of eighteen, one out of every eight young women has experienced physical violence while dating.

Why Does It Happen?

Dating violence is often triggered by arguments about sex, drinking and jealousy. Experts cite the influence of media stereotypes in dating violence. Teenagers are more vulnerable to these examples of women as victims and men as controllers. At a time when many youth are insecure and uncertain of how to act, the domination and violence they see between men and women on television or in the movies may seem acceptable.

Teenage girls are often inexperienced with dating and don't have knowledge of what is appropriate behavior for the boys they date. They may see jealousy and violence as signs of affection and caring. Many young women are insecure and stay in abusive dating relationships out of fear that they will never find another boyfriend.

What Can I Do If I Suspect Dating Violence?

Reassure him or her that it is not his or her fault and that no one deserves to be abused in any way. Encourage him or her to seek further help by giving them hotline numbers and community resources. Maintain confidentiality - he or she might be worried about telling his or her parents or having his or her parents friends find out.

Article courtesy of JWI's Resource Guide for Rabbis